Health and desperation !

There are serious concerns about my health at the moment,I have a lot of chronic conditions, I often have more than one thing going on at once (in fact there is not one day goes by when i dont have something )and I normally grit my teeth through it all,but never have I has this much going on at once and for so long ,you know its bad when I cry,get depressed and have to turn down seeing my beautiful grandchildren 😦

My hubby even had to have a word with our son who has been shielded from what I really go through beacause I have become a master at hiding it,I am now “immune” or “allergic” to most medication and they help not one bit !

They are the only choice I have as this country is so backward with these illnesses,

Yes I have tried more natural methods, its been left too long .
These illnesses come ironically from my old nursing jobs and the hep b jabs I had to have, the mercury I worked with ,PTSD from my childhood, damage to my brain from mental health drugs I didn’t even need,head injury,living with asbestos and black mold and more (I was born with some of it) before knowing more about alternative treatments I had already been damaged by medications that doctors keep people like me on to make money from pharma companies ! Now I am dependent and would need rehab,which ironically is not free on NHS,so no hope of that.I am now at the point that I am terrified I am going to die from all the medication and it will be for nothing cos it doesnt even work properly, i am sick of carrying around a suitcase full of drugs and planning my life round it ! Ive made myself worse by not using my wheelchair when i should due to nasty comments because people dont understand, or should I say don’t want to “invisible” or fluctuating illness,ive lost so called family and friends because they dont want to deal with it,i will never work again and neither will hubby who has had to quit work to be my full time carer,doctors don’t help or test me properly because they know damn well a lot of it will point back to when i worked as a nurse for NHS,well thats nice isnt it !! Thats the thanks I get !

I cope with a hell of a lot of pain that most people couldn’t cope with,in fact I have operations wide awake with no anaesthetic ,one of which I was strongly advised not to do (having the ulnar nerve scraped from the bone where it had fused in my arm) meditation saw me through that and I was so still and peaceful on the operating table they thought I had died of shock (only one other person in my surgeons 40 year history of being a surgeon had gone through that awake and they were begging to be knocked out after five minutes)

But the last two weeks have been too much for me to cope with,I just hope it eases off soon

Here’s what its been like :

Fibro flare

Hip dislocation

So much pain ,never like it before

Spine burning

Whole body burning

Inside bones burning

Left thigh muscle (new)

Severe cramp both calves lasted ages (new)

Costo and crossed ribs now happening on rt side 

Speech problem/ brain fog/tics and tremors

Mild m.e /CFS

Neck

Pancreatic pain

Burning hands and cramp

Migraine and head pressure

Photophobia

Cold pain eyes mostly rt

Cold pain nose

Blackout when coughing and excruciating pain shooting pain up arms

Vertigo mild

Unaccounted for bruises on legs

Bruised feeling forehead and top of head

Ears closing up/radio tuning noise/tinnitus/hypercasis

Vibrating

Fizzing base of skull

Feeling sick

Still remains of chest infection

Sacro and bursitis

Weak all over

Numbness and pins and needles feet and hands

Dead patches legs

Pain when moving eyes

Start of pomphylx eczema ?

Dodgy vision/ocular stroke

Drugs doing NOTHING

Depression
Not saying this for pity, just wondering who else with psychic ability has any of this (these are only some of the things I have by the way)

I did start a study on this but didn’t get enough data to come to a conclusion, please let me know if you would like to take part in my study (anonymously of course)

 I got so desperate tonight I literally crawled out into the garden,lay down in front of our garden henge,got hubby to hold clear quartz on my worst trigger points while I burnt a blue candle for healing and listened to “earth’s healing vibes” ,I really needed to get out in nature and ground myself but as a nature walk was out of the question this was all I could do…will find out in the morning if it helped !!

My garden henge ,I lay in front of this,it has a lot of earth energy because it is on a ley line and under the north star and two old trees,and is where we do our spells and rituals

Bad photos sorry

Clear quartz ,a master healer on my sacro ileac points (back of pelvis,which with me separates and stops me walking)

After I did this I found lots of Tesla coil healing frequency sounds on YouTube, as I am such a huge Tesla fan I shall try that next time ,if my ears can cope with it because I do have hypercasis which means my hearing is six times better than most peoples,and I also have misophonia. But its worth a try, stay tuned (pardon the pun)

Please do not share or REBLOG thanks